Family of 5 update!

Hello Readers. Thanks for checking in.

Miss Beautiful moved in last Saturday, so we have been a family for 10 days.
For those playing catch up, this is the child of our heart. We started the process with the state to adopt an older child from foster care last August and now Beautiful, age 12, half Native American, half African American is living in our home. We cannot share her real name until after adoption, which will be once she has lived in our home for 6 months, but the meaning of her name is "beautiful". And it fits, beautifully. wink.

She is adjusting very well. Everything is new in her life (and ours too). She is handling new parents, siblings, family, school, friends, church, foods and more! Can you imagine? Honestly, put yourself in her place. Tough stuff for a adolescent or anyone, right?! She went to a swim party today to meet all new friends from her part-time school. I was so proud of her for going. The host said she wanted to give her a badge of courage. I couldn't agree more.

The hard stuff... We have encountered one bad dream, several talks about birthmother and her past foster families and she faced her first consequence, but ended up making a wise choice and did not have to receive that consequence. We have had some typical bad moods and tears about this or that, but overall, really proud of her.

Now, on to me. Hear the song in your head, "It's all about me Jesus" oh wait, that is not what it is supposed to be! "It's all about You Jesus!" If I could get that straight, I wouldn't have to deal with half of the stuff in my life!

BUT, adjusting is hard. What is hard for me is busyness. I hate it. It causes me to stress and be fatigued, have anxiety and shut down. Other people can handle many things, but not me, I know I cannot do it all. One of my favorite words is NO.
But what do you do when so many things are changing and you have to say yes? Like new glasses for school, DHS appt's, school uniform fitting, testing for school, dentist, on and on, things that must get done? What do you do? I get tired, then the witch picks up her broom. And it is not pretty.
I do not want to just survive this transition of our new child, but thrive during this adjustment. The thing that pushes me over the edge is errands. I can realistically only do one (or zero) errands a day. With a 2, 4 and 12 year old in tow, it is taking some prayer and planning on my part to do things successfully. This part does not have anything to do with bonding, just the logistics of doing life- like going grocery shopping or going to the post office. But sadly, it is those little things that can seem HUGE to accomplish. A few of you will understand this and totally get me. Others who can do it all, will think I am a weeny. I am weak and flawed and that is ok. If I tap into Christ, His power is made perfect in weakness. But this part of adjusting to a new kiddo is for me (and was for each past child as well) a challenge.

I want to specifically say thank you to some friends who encouraged me. It feels good to be supported and have an encouraging word. Also to RR who called and asked me to cash in a coupon she gave me for Christmas for a date night. She said, "Oh, you will need it, and soon." So we booked a date for our 9th anniversary in a week. It is the little things.

I debated back and forth about sharing this because I do not want it to come across "pity-party-ish" but, I am glad (for me and my personality) that this particular adoption came third and not first. It is no secret to those who have adopted, that women having a biological child receive, in general, more attention than women adopting. (Exclude Jolie and Madonna, of course.)

There are the core friends/family who will ask you how you are doing, feeling, naming, planning, etc for the whole two+ years of your adoption journey, but you just do not get asked that often. Towards the end, when it becomes more real and you have pictures of your child, you will hopefully have a baby shower and be asked more often about travel and such.
But during the wait, it can be a lonely time. I learned this the hard way with our first adoption. God quickly showed me to always come to Him first when I was feeling sad about not getting the same attention as someone else who was expecting. See, comparison is always a killjoy. I knew this going into our second and it was much easier. Now, going into our third where our child is older, we received more controversial questions than the "oh you sweet thing, you are expecting, tell me all about it" type support.

I am not sure why I needed to get that off my chest. Probably because when I say, "thank you for your love and support," I mean it. Like, really really whole-heartedly mean thank you. I CANNOT do life without the support of my Lord, my husband, my family and my friends. I cannot fulfill this calling without you.
I have learned that the smallest kind word actually speaks louder than what money can buy. Those "things" are nice of course. We have had our parents and one friend give a gift to Beautiful and it was such a joyful moment for her and us. We are going to have a "love you around the clock" celebration when she is officially adopted into our family. And I cannot wait for it. A huge celebration after all these transitions will be such a sweet reward.

Funny's of the week:

Avi Joy- While I was cutting her hair, I told her to watch daddy unloading the dishwasher. She proceeds to loudly sing, "I am watching daddy unload the dishwasher. Isaiah 18." Apparently she took the liberty of adding to the scriptures.

Nehemiah- He has started to put on his own socks. (Which amazed me because little-joy just started doing that like this year.) BUT he puts BOTH socks on the SAME foot. Not just sometimes, every. single. time. One barefoot and one double socked foot.

Beautiful- While driving down the highway we passed some new construction. She said, "I cannot believe that new wall already has confetti on it." I said, "Confetti?" She said, "Yeah, like spray paint all over it." Ok, Ok, graffiti!

Psalm 3 really touched me this week.
Love,
The Perryman's