Saturday, March 27, 2010

Adoption Party

We attended our first DHS adoption party today. It was about 2 hours away, so we headed out the door this morning about 8am. Adam's parents watched the kiddos all day as we didn't plan on being home until about 5pm. They were excited about having a grandparents day. They ended up visiting their great-grandparents, seeing the animals at Atwoods and having Ol' McDonalds for lunch. And lucky us, they were in bed by 7:15, hence- getting to stay up and blog!

We arrived at the host church and to our delight, the parking lot was packed. There ended up being 100 families in attendance (families looking to adopt) and 140 kids (all available for adoption) ready to have a fun filled meet-and-greet afternoon.
As we walked in the door, I was impressed by the staff's organization of the party. Nothing makes a great idea go bad quicker than lack of organizing an event. And in this case with SO many people there, it went really smooth. (I realize this is not DHS's first adoption party, but for many of these kids and families it was their first party and not too many people seemed to have to wonder around aimlessly.)

We checked in, were handed name tags and given a big book with the children's profiles inside. We were led to a banquet room with Hollywood themed decor ("Every Child Is A Star" was the theme) to sit and review each child's profile. There were about 50 single placements (only children w/ no siblings) and about 40 sibling groups, amounting to 100 child/sibling profiles. There were a few sets of two kiddos, tons of siblings of three, several groups of four and a couple sets of five sibling groups.

Our social worker showed us how to fill out a separate page for those children you thought would be a possible match for your family. You listed the age of the child, their name and case worker. After this you entered the carnival area. They did a great job of setting up lots of activities for the children. There was face-painting, a girly nail area, an inflatable, making jewelry, a dress-up area where they took pictures of the kids, basketball, football and TONS of other carnival type games.

At first we just walked around and like most to-be-parents there, just took it all in. We watched kids play and even though we had just read a little lifestory on these kids, a bio and a pic just did not do justice to a LIVE PERSON, you know? It was like, oh so sweet thing, let me go back and read about you... so we did a lot of that, watching a kiddo, then looking him/her up in the book and reading if we/they would be a right fit.
Many times we did not have to decide this. If they needed to be the only child in the home, obviously, we did not qualify. Some were Native American and you had to be an Indian family to request placement. Some were acting out with aggression or sexually and those were the only two things we said 'no' too in our homestudy. So not a right fit for us, but for someone- most definitely. As for age, we were open to 5 years old and up. As for race, any. As for sibling groups, 1-3 children.

Then we narrowed down to making sure we met each child we wrote on our sheet and introduced ourselves to their case worker. We enjoyed this part and could tell that some kids we clicked with and others, not so much. But it was hard not to fall in love and hope to be CHOSEN as their forever parent. And I did daydream about many of them fitting into our family even on the drive home.

So... how are we chosen?
Each family (us) turns in their sheet to their case worker. Our case worker then tells the child's worker that we are truly interested. The child's case worker reviews our homestudy. They decide if we are the best fit for those kiddos. I say "the best" because many of these children could have 100+ families interested in adopting them. The last sibling group we were a candidate for, we were in fact, in a group with 99 other homestudies being reviewed. Great odd's for the kids though, they deserve the best possible placement.

Power to the case worker...
Yes, it seems that the child's case workers has the final decision for who these children are placed with for adoption. Is this scary? No. I can say this confidently because I have walked through this twice before. How did our adoption agency and our case workers there see pictures of two babies in orphanages on the other side of the world and know that they were our children and offer for us to adopt them forever?
Here we are meeting the kids first, praying for the right child and I have to believe that these case workers (whether they believe in God or not) are placed by God in this position to make life-changing decisions for those children who are placed under their care.

And now what-
We wait. We wait until we are chosen. We could attend 15 more adoption parties, meet children who are precious and still not be chosen as the best placement for that child. Do we want to settle for a child who is not meant to be in our home? Does that child deserve to be placed with parents that are not a right fit for them? These are factors that other adoption placements do not have to consider, but in a case of an older child adoption, everyone involved desires God's best. We want that for these kids. We want that for ourselves.
All that being said, we do hope to be the best placement for a child/ren, sooner than later : )
We will keep everyone in the loop!
P.S. The adoption parties are 3 times a year. Our case worker tries to make matches for us once a month. And yes, we are still open to international adoption if we are lead in that direction in the future. But right now, we are in the right place!

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

The Perryman Family

6 comments:

Neil, Amy and The Girls said...

Thanks for updating us! I have been thinking about you guys all day :o) So glad things went well and it is amazing there are so many families open to adopting these sweet kiddos! Keep us updated :o)

Jessica said...

This is so fascinating. Thank you for sharing! Sounds like your state has a great system for getting these kids adopted. We are praying for you guys!

Rhonda said...

This is even better than I thought. I LOVE the idea of an adoption party. It just seems like it would be so successful. And the fact that they were organized and prepared probably goes a long way to make it great for everyone.

Do the kids understand this situation? Or do they just think they're going to a fun party? I wonder what they are all thinking about tonight.

Many prayers for your family, and for all of those children who may or may not be placed very soon!

Love you guys!

Nadra said...

So glad you took the time to update us. I'm praying that the right fit comes along soon. Hugs!

Brad Burdette said...

Thanks for the update! i love hearing about your journey, and how you guys are trusting the Lord throught it all.

Willis said...

That is so neat to hear how it all works. Jason and I were officially approved today to begin foster parenting. He wants to start out slow so it's only respite at first. This could very well lead to our 2nd adoption. We're going through Faith Bridge Foster Care, a Christian organization. I believe what you said about God placing the right kids into your home. Best Wishes!